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In Real Life - early May 2009 | Part 2

I tell myself that it’s appropriate that you would not contact me. After all, my entire time in the state of Colorado has added up to four months — hardly enough to build an attachment — and then to make things worse, I up and left for a month. It’s not like we regularly chatted over the phone. And we're just friends, remember? Plus God must want me all to Himself. Just me and him, like always. And that's a good thing. Right? Of course. Glad we had this talk.

In Real Life - early May 2009 | Part 2

Want it So Bad | March 4, 2009

I lie in bed, staring at my revolving ceiling fan, shadows flickering on the popcorn ceiling in my aunt and uncle’s guest bedroom. My friend Steve and I talk late on the phone; he in Chicago, still taking classes, I in Colorado. Steve was one of my best friends at college - well, he was first my crush, until he told me he was gay. Then we really became friends. I tell him about my work, about bible study, and you - all about you.

He tells me about classes, about mutual friends, about his own crushes, and we reach the pause at the end of a conversation that signals the moment to hang up. That’s when I ask him - “Steve, do you think I’ll get married one day?”

Want it So Bad | March 4, 2009